I don’t enjoy defending my choices. I’m sure no one does. And I have to be honest, that people who question my choices get under my skin. Yes, you’re reading this right, people get under my skin sometimes and when I allow that to happen, I allow my power to be taken away from me instantly. When people question my motives for competing. Why I follow a certain meal plan. Why I don’t eat the way they do. And when I’m left feeling like I need to defend my choices. It bothers me. Especially when they do it not with an intention to TRULY know, so that they can benefit from it, but with what appears to be an intention to challenge me. It bothers me tremendously.
Every single person that I coach has to deal with these issues constantly, whether it’s at work, or at social or family gatherings. I’m fortunate that I live in a little bubble so the people I normally associate with are not ones to question my actions, because they are competitors too. They live the same lifestyle that I do; so I receive nothing but unconditional support from them. And I have never found myself defending my choices or my lifestyle. Isn’t it true however, that at one point or another we’ve been challenged about our beliefs, career choice and lifestyle? Isn’t it also true that many times this attitude towards our choices comes from people who we expect it from the least?
This weekend, I found myself dealing with something like this CONSTANTLY. And I found myself biting my tongue on more than one occasion. And defending my choices as if they needed to be defended when they don’t. I tell you it wasn’t easy; it was extremely difficult. And it made me think of all those times when I’ve told people “don’t let it bother you.” And man… I realized I had no right to tell people that, when I had such a hard time dealing with it myself. Because it really did bother me. I get it now. I get what people deal with. It is DIFFICULT and even more so when you expect someone to really “get” your goals and “get” your lifestyle to be respectful of your choices, because you respect theirs. I will be honest, I felt bullied and cornered the more questions that were asked. And it wasn’t fun.
On the other side of that though, I had to sit down and truly look at my reaction for this. WHY was I allowing this to bother me so much? WHY? Was it that I question my own motives to compete? Was it that I was questioning my lifestyle? Was it that I wanted to quit? Was it that I’m not getting anything out of this? After sitting down for a few minutes with my coffee this morning and analyzing myself, I realized that the answer to all of this was “no”. What I realized is that I was using this reason to stay upset about this weekend as an excuse to not focus on my goals and what’s so important to me. See, I came back with these HUGE goals and even more focus to compete (or so I thought). I have an incredibly amazing, generous, knowledgeable coach and I belong to the BEST team I could possibly belong to. And here I was fuming, upset and replaying all those questions in my mind and what I could have replied. Is it worth it to be upset? NO!! Is it worth it to stay focused on my desire to compete and to be disciplined and determined on a LIFE dream of competing that I’ve had since I was in my 20’s? YES!
So here is the truth about all of this and how I am reclaiming my power again: THIS IS MY LIFE, MY JOURNEY AND MY GOAL. It’s personal. It’s mine to own. So the next time that someone questions your motives for eating healthy, for exercising and for choosing a lifestyle on purpose when it’s clear that you’re doing it with a goal in mind; sit down for a few minutes and find your fire; that fire that got you started on your journey to begin with. That “why” that keeps you going. Then smile and ask “Why do you ask?” That’s where I failed. I did not ask for this person’s intentions in what felt like I was being grilled about my choices and even my coach. When this person is CLEARLY not knowledgeable about competitions nor does she have that goal like I do. Had I asked that question, this person would have gotten the message sooner and would have stopped. I gave my power away when I continued to allow that behavior as if it was okay for her to do that. And it was NOT okay. What I didn’t tell her was that if she really wanted to know from a place of understanding, I would have explained that I’m up to something that is completely different from what she’s up to. The truth is that my coach is considered one of the top natural body builders in the history of the sport. His coaching and plan for me, isn’t up to debate or questioning PERIOD. In the same way that your lifestyle and healthy choices are not for debate with ANYONE who is not your coach.
As someone who provides coaching for my customers, I consider my relationship with them to be sacred. I don’t blab about problems that anyone is having. I keep it confidential. And I’m ALWAYS in their corner. If you want me to be your coach and to get the results that YOU want, fill out the contact form below. I can guarantee that I will always be in your corner.