Finding balance..

Finding balance… it seems so easy sometimes and yet for me, it has been one of the hardest things right now. Friday was an extremely hard evening for me personally and the weekend only got a bit more challenging. I am finding it difficult to find balance at this moment and I’m really having to take a hard look at that and it’s not comfortable at all. I have a lot going on and it’s all great stuff, challenging stuff, the type of stuff that will push me to my physical and sometimes even emotional limit. I don’t know about you, but for me, losing weight has been not only a physical but also an emotional process.

There are days that have been extremely easy. I workout twice a day, no problem, I eat my meals, no problem. I stay accountable, I drink all the water I’m supposed to drink and it seems easy. I REALLY thought I had it all figured out and once again I discovered that I don’t, that depending on my stress level or how tired I am, or how good I feel about things, there are days that will be better than others and sometimes, some weeks will be better than others.

When I got home on Friday night, I realized that the summer is coming, my daughter is “graduating” to the next class and guess what? She soon will be going to Kindergarten. i have been so busy working and my commute is so long that it adds 10 more hours to my work week. My university courses also take time and of course, my class has been somewhat neglected lately. When asked “what are you going to do with your degree?” I have no answer. So, I’m right now at a stage where I’m questioning my career A LOT. Do I want to be a writer? Maybe. But what is it that I’m REALLY passionate about? My family and of course fitness.

My focus right now in fitness is my competition, no questions about it. This competition training has beenĀ  a BIG challenge for me, I have seen my body slowly beginning to transform. But there are other things that have started to transform in me as well. I no longer give up on things so easily. I find solutions when I’m stuck on a personal decision to make and I feel good about my choice, instead of feeling helpless. It’s forcing me to grow up… AT 42!!! It has also provided me with a huge gift… the gift of friendship. I have met 30 amazing women in the process.

In the middle of all of these questions, today I received the sweetest email from a friend that I’ve been coaching. She acknowledged me and told me what a huge contribution I had been to her life by introducing her to fitness. I tell you honestly, I am not always the best at receiving an acknowledgment… but I got it this time. THIS is my career of choice and THIS is what I love to do.