When I started the program I took pictures of myself wearing my favorite pair of yoga pants. They are drawstring pants, the same pants I’ve been taking pictures with during this journey. Why were they my favorite you may ask? Because they were “comfortable” and “loose” and I didn’t have to worry about waking up one day and not having anything that fits, these pants were my “go-to” pants whenever I had to run a quick errand, go for a walk, etc., without having to be reminded of how uncomfortable it was to have gained my post-pregnancy weight. Yes resignation disguises itself as comfort sometimes, it’s true.
Yesterday like it had been during several months, I felt the “urge” to wear these pants again. That little familiar voice in my mind saying “you’re safe wearing these pants” came up for me again. It sort of helped also that they are pajama style pants. I admit though that the dragon design on the leg looks pretty cool. My hubby and I decided to go grocery shopping in the afternoon after our workout; after lunch I changed into my comfort-go-to dragon pants, a casual blouse and ran out the door. I noticed I had to tighten the string a little more but nothing to it. As we were walking into a store, Joseph told me “honey” and gave a motion with his hand indicating I needed to fix something on my waist, yep, my dragon pants were starting to slip a little and my belly-button was showing. I then realized that my pants were extremely loose and were starting to slip. I had become used to the feeling of my pants being very loose around the legs but had not really paid attention to how much losing weight had actually impacted how my pants fit around my waist. I stood there, looked at Joseph and pulled my pants on one side, noting the huge gap there, I was reminded of the fact that I have lost about 9 inches around my waist, pulling the drawstring to its limit is not going to make a difference, it’s time to buy new pants. With that, we stopped by the store and I purchased a brand new pair of yoga pants and for the first time in months, they are a “Small” and not a “medium” or “large”.
The way I feel now that I’m getting fit is just amazing. My whole life I had taken being fit for granted, I had never noticed until now the lightness in the step you feel when you’re fit and healthy. I feel comfortable in my own body and not resigned about the way I look or feel. My energy level is at its highest, I am able to focus better and the amount of endorphins I get makes it easier for me to be in a balanced mood throughout the week, regardless of how stressed I may be with school, work or any of the other obligations I have on my plate. Having no energy to workout is not an excuse to me anymore. I am clear that my energy comes from my workouts and that is precisely why I workout.
I’ve learned that waiting to feel better in order to workout is just another made-up excuse to not get off my butt and just do it. My circumstances didn’t change on their own, I did something to change them. The first step to losing weight for me was actually waking up one day and saying “enough is enough, I am really tired of this and I’m going to do something about it.” And I have to say, reaching each one of my goals feels pretty darn powerful.
So this is a formal farewell to my dragon pants, I have no need to hide underneath them anymore.