For the past week or so I have been silent… observing, meditating and really trying to put my thoughts together for this next post. Losing 50+ pounds was challenging, I won’t say it was the easiest thing I have done, but it was worth it. Having gone from obese to competing in 14 months for me has been a HUGE personal accomplishment and yes, I’m proud of it.
When I was done with my competition I was pretty exhausted, instead of taking a one week rest, I took two. I listened closely to my body and did what felt right for me, my body told me “rest” and so I did. I then modified my diet to what felt right… I didn’t overindulge, overeat or overtrain… I didn’t go crazy with sweets, I continued to eat non-processed foods and stayed away from fast food. One day I ate a slice of pizza and was sick for two days, my body said “no” to the greasy piece of pizza that I tried to eat… so I decided next time to make my own pizza, with better choices on toppings. I grew, developed and transformed my relationship to food, exercise and in the process, I found balance. My experience is unusual for a first time competitor.
I am beginning to think that because my priorities for this competition were so different for me and not based on winning or bringing home a trophy, I was able to stay grounded. I also have to give my hubby the credit he deserves for keeping me grounded. Yes, bringing home a trophy would have been super cool and I can’t help but feel a bit jealous (in a good way) of other gals who bring home trophies the first time they compete… but it saddens me, when I see that we place SO much emphasis on losing weight, on getting our body fat percentages down so much that our hormones become out of whack and that once all is over, we seem to lose perspective of what we wanted to begin with… being fit AND healthy. We lose so much perspective, that overindulging and binging is just one more common thing that competitors do. Is this REALLY a healthy lifestyle? No, it’s not.
I will be competing again in 2012… that’s the plan today, but I might change my mind. If I don’t, my plan will be to
1- train from home
2- eat a balanced diet
3- bring home a trophy (that would be cool).
I’m ready to prove that there is such a thing as looking amazing, being fit, healthy AND competing. Can it be done? The trophy part, heck, I don’t know… I would LOVE to say yes, but I won’t know for sure until I get on that stage, if I decide to get on that stage. There is one thing I am certain about, I will not lose myself in my quest for that trophy. I refuse to do that.