That’s what I told myself on Friday night as I was about to increase the weights I was lifting and I have found these words to be the ones that have saved me and everyone else around me from my whining these last few days… I don’t have fun when I whine and I don’t think anyone else around me has fun when they hear me whine.
I have had to increase the weights as the weeks have gone by. On Friday, as I was working on one of my routines and was increasing the weights with each set of repetitions I was doing, I picked up a pair of dumbbells and felt intimidated by the weight, “Oh shoot, can I do this?” I thought. I backed away from the weights looked at them, went back, was about to lift them and backed off again. It was as if I was being invited to dance by my high school crush, saying yes, holding his hand and then sitting down again thinking that I’d fall on my face.
I looked at myself in the mirror with thoughts of “I don’t think I can do this” and asked myself “do you want to whine, or do you want results?” I knew then what I needed to do: I went back to the dumbbells and said “if the weights are so heavy that I can’t keep proper form, I’ll put them down, otherwise, I will do this” and so it was that I worked out with the heaviest weights so far. Yes, it was tough and left me sweating but I had discovered how strong I really am not only physically, but also mentally.
Training for this competition has taken my tolerance for whining to a whole different level, the one of “I can’t stand a minute of it.” It’s amazing how much I have learned through this process. I have grown in ways that I never expected and I have learned a great deal about myself, including discovering whether or not I have what it takes to not quit and keep going forward, I am no longer the wilting leaf of lettuce that I thought I was, I am strong and have the muscles to prove it AND I still look feminine, how cool!